Women For Hope

Being a survivor of rape, Sexual Assault Awareness Month is very important to me.   I am a big believer in how important it is to break the silence about this epidemic that no one wants to talk about.   That is why Tom and I have spent countless hours helping with the Ann Arbor Take Back the Night (which we are co-coordinating next year - stay tuned for more on that.)  It is also why I contributed my story to the Survivor Archives - check it out at http://trauma-survivors.squarespace.com/archives/month/march-2008.  It is why I am HUGE supporter of Angela Shelton. And most of all, it is the biggest reason we created Women for Hope.

I know that rape and incest is a hard subject to talk about, think about, admit happens …all that.    And I am a realist,  I do not think that violence against women, or violence against people in general, will ever go away no matter what we do.   Unfortunately, it has been part of human nature since we first walked this earth.   But that doesn’t make it right! 

What can happen though is women who have been sexually assaulted can get help.   They can be aware of the resources that are out there, whether they need to get away from a boyfriend who is being abusive, have been raped by someone they met in a bar, or have been attacked on the street. 

Women need to know that they are NOT alone!!  That was soooo important to me when I found out about other women going through what I was going through when I first started dealing with being raped.   To know I wasn’t crazy or overreacting or being too emotional was so reassuring.    It helped me push through and find that inner strength I so needed.    It also helped me deal with those around me who told me “to get over it” or “you are being a baby about this” along with other lovely comments I was hearing (and these were from those who loved me…let alone strangers.)

It still amazes me to see people’s reactions just hearing the word rape come out of my mouth when they ask about Women for Hope or why we do it.   Most don’t know what to say when I say I am a rape survivor.    Some look at me like they wish I would just shut up.  Others look at me like - oh, that will never happen to me.   Others assume that I must have put myself in that situation.   Then there are the ones who get that look in their eyes of complete gratitude that I am sharing my story.  Some share maybe a snippet of theirs with me -whether it was something that happened to them or to someone they love.   There is an instant bond and it is like I can hear that silence being broke like someone threw a ball through an imaginary cloudy glass window and things for them look a little clearer.   The thing is, that connection happens more times than people would like to admit.

So when you hear about the fight against Sexual Assault - don’t turn your head and think - oh who cares - won’t happen to me.   Or why are they wasting their time trying to stop something that will never stop.    The point is, women who have abused should not feel shame, should not feel lost.   There is help out there and there are others who have been there who can help them find their way.  That is what the fight is about…breaking the silence

If you or somene you know needs help - contact RAINN toll free at 800-656-HOPE  or online at www.rainn.org  (they now have on line counselors available 24 hours a day)

‘Til next time - take care and BE SAFE!

Pam